The can of worms has finally been opened…..
It’s time to sit up and pay attention with the sudden realisation that the importance of our children’s mental health has been ignored for far too long. You may have noticed lately all kind of initiatives being introduced in schools, community centres and online to help address anxiety in our children…. Thank goodness, it’s about time!

What is anxiety and why is it skyrocketing in our children?
To put it simply, anxiety is excessive worrying about something that could go wrong in the future. This then triggers our “survival switch” or simply our fight, flight or freeze response to a perceived threat to our life. Anxiety is therefore natural and essential to keep us alive. However when we start to feel anxious frequently about certain things that aren’t dangerous (example a child may trigger the survival switch every evening at bedtime) this is when it becomes an issue and the child may be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

What are the symptoms of anxiety in our children?
They may mention their heart is beating rapidly, increased breathing rate, feeling nauseous, vomiting, stomach pains, diarrhea, sweating, inability to concentrate , dilated pupils, not wanting to eat, difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep, irritable, cries easily, becomes upset if separated from the main care giver.

So why are our children so anxious?
There are so many different possibilities depending on which study you read, here are just 5.

Too much screen time. Some children are spending up to 5 hours a day sitting in front of a screen. Children are feeling disconnected from one another more than ever before and use electronics to escape uncomfortable feelings such as boredom, anger or sadness. They are also comparing their lives to others in social media where there is an unrealistic expectation that you should be happy 100% of the time (no one posts photos of a bad day!)

Anxiety is learned. Children learn from your actions and if you believe it’s normal to be in a state of stress most of the time and that’s just life! Your child will believe that too.

Competition. Have you noticed how much competition there is in schools and sporting clubs? Everything is measured and children are overwhelmed, just look at the Naplan testing here in Australia where young children reported feeling stress and pressure. Competition can lead to a child believing they must be a perfectionist causing very ridgid, inflexible thinking and fearing failure, when failure is only really an opportunity to learn.

Stressful life events. This could be due to divorce, moving homes, schools, introduction of new siblings or step parents, death of a family member, abuse, witnessing an accident etc.

Overparenting. I’m talking about those helicopter parents who do everything for their children and don’t allow them to take risks emotionally or physically resulting in the inability to cope with “real” life.

7 Strategies to help an anxious child
Good Sleep Hygiene. Sleep is essential for good physical and mental health. Studies show that those that don’t get enough restful sleep are more likely to have feelings of anxiety.

Good diet. You are what you eat! Less processed and more “real” food. We are learning more and more everyday about the brain gut connection and there is growing evidence about how our microbiome can affect our mental health.

Let children take risks. Helicopter parents this is for you. By constantly shadowing your child, your child will not get the opportunity to make a mistake. You are teaching them to doubt their ability and choices.

Have worry time. Yes, your child is allowed to worry. Set aside 10-15 minutes at a specific time e.g. 6:30 – 6:45pm after dinner, set a timer and what often helps is following this with the child having their shower or bath where they can wash their worries down the drain.

Breathe. Teach belly breathing (4x4x4) If the child is young have them lay on the bed or floor with a teddy bear or favourite toy on their belly. They should breathe in for 4 counts and see teddy rise, hold for 4 counts and breathe out for 4 counts, where teddy comes down again. Repeat 4 times.

Catch the thought. Teach your child to “catch” the thought that gives them that anxious feeling in their body. They may even want to visualise a net to catch this thought with. Then it’s up to them to be an investigator to determine if the thought is true. Where is the evidence to suggest it is true? Is there a possibility the thought is false? Then the child can release that thought and watch it disappear out of sight, although some like to flush it down the toilet or blow it into outer space in a rocket ship and that’s great too.

Seek a therapist. A therapist can teach your child different ways of managing those thoughts in a healthy, helpful way and can be a valuable resource and support to parents.

Now that the can of worms has been opened let’s keep it that way and talk about our children’s mental health as frequently as we talk about their physical health